THE RANDOM PLAYS OF ANNARENS
by xxPellinoriaxx
Summary: The title says it all. Anything that isn't mine belongs to Alison Croggon & you know wat she owns...
1. HEM AND MAERAD

**Part I**

**MAERAD: **Hi. I am Maerad Flipperstine.

Maerad looks up. "WHAT?! Who wrote this script?"

"I don't know, just continue," Hem said.

"Okay, here I go."

**MAERAD: **Hi. I am Maerad Flipperstine. (pause) I am here to tell you of my totally awesome, totally coolio-

"Wait, is coolio even a word?!" Maerad looks at Hem who shrugs.

**MAERAD: **Hi. I am Maerad Flipperstine. (pause) I am here to tell you of my totally awesome, totally coolio, totally radical story.

**HEM: **Narley, dude.

"Huh? I've never heard of 'narley'. Does anyone know what it means?" Hem asks.

"I do not know."

**MAERAD:** Hey, peoples, look!(point at Hem) It's Hembert the Flying Fish!

Maerad laughs. "That is funny!"

Hem glares at his sister.

**HEM: **Like, Dude, I am sooo not a Flying Fish! (pauses) I am, like, Hembert the Flying _Flipping _Fish!

**MAERAD: **That's what I said! Yeah. Um. Yeah!!

Maerad looks at Hem with eyes of hysteria.

**HEM: **Dude, what were we talking about?

**MAERAD: **I dunno. I can't remember.

**HEM: **Wanna go get a drink, dude?

**LEAVE STAGE HAND-IN-HAND**

Maerad looked at Hem. "Who wrote this?"

Hem shrugs. "Dunno."

**--END--**

**MAERAD: **Hi. I am Maerad Flipperstine. (pause) I am here to tell you of my totally awesome, totally coolio, totally radical story.

**HEM: **Narley, dude.

**HEM: **Like, Dude, I am sooo not a Flying Fish! (pauses) I am, like, Hembert the Flying _Flipping _Fish!

**MAERAD: **That's what I said! Yeah. Um. Yeah!!

**HEM: **Dude, what were we talking about?

**MAERAD: **I dunno. I can't remember.

**HEM: **Wanna go get a drink, dude?

**LEAVE STAGE HAND-IN-HAND**


	2. CADVAN

**CADVAN: **(skip onto stage w/ a boquet of flowers) La! La! La!

Cadvan's brow furrowed. "What is this?" he mutters to himself.

**CADVAN: **Oh, I wonder what I am going to do today? (real girly voice) (look around and focus on the approaching person that approaches from the left) OH MY!! Who is THAT!?

"They cannot make me do that." Cadvan shakes his head.

**CADVAN: **OMG!! Is that Lady Flipperstine?! I absouletly can **_not_** have her see me!

"Who is that?"

**CADVAN: **I know! I know! I'll be a flower! (poses momentarily as a flower but runs off when person looks at you)

"No." Cadvan says this as he throws the script onto his bedroom floor before he leaves the room.

**--END--**

**CADVAN: **(skip onto stage w/ a boquet of flowers) La! La! La!

**CADVAN: **Oh, I wonder what I am going to do today? (real girly voice) (look around and focus on the approaching person that approaches from the left) OH MY!! Who is THAT!?

**CADVAN: **OMG!! Is that Lady Flipperstine?! I absouletly can **_not_** have her see me!

**CADVAN: **I know! I know! I'll be a flower! (poses momentarily as a flower but runs off when person looks at you)


	3. HEM, SALIMAN, MAERAD, AND CADVAN

"Here! Here! Look!Look! I got another one," Hem yelled as he walked into the room where he, Cadvan, Maerad, and Saliman were.

Saliman took the papers that Hem was waving madly about and gave on to each person. "What is it?"

"Let's read and find out!"

**HEM: **Meow!

**CADVAN: **Like, OMG! (high, girly voice)

"What is OMG stand for?" Cadvan looks around.

Everyone else shrugs.

**HEM: **Meow!

**CADVAN: **Like, OMG! (high, girly voice)

**HEM: **OMG?! Like, OMG, what man? (sound like you are on drugs Hem)

"DRUGS?!" Hem jumps up.

"Calm down, Hem." Maerad pats her brother's arm.

**MAERAD: **Make way! Make way! It is I, Maerad F.!

**SALIMAN: **Who art thou, fair maiden?

Sailiman looks up, bewildered almost.

**MAERAD: **Who art you? (pause and look him over) Wait. (stare at his face) I know who you are?!

**CADVAN: **(lean in closer and in high, girly voice laugh) I know who you are too!

**MAERAD: **Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! (look evil and glance around at everyone) It is **_SALLY THE MAGICAL UNICORN OF THE LAND OF CHOCOALATE COVERED ROACHES AND IGALOOS!!_**

"WHAT?!" everyone cries in unison.

**HEM: **Does this mean I can eat him/her?

**_--END--_**

+  
OlOlOlOlOlOlOlOl

**HEM: **Meow!

**CADVAN: **Like, OMG! (high, girly voice)

**HEM: **OMG?! Like, OMG, what man? (sound like you are on drugs Hem)

**MAERAD: **Make way! Make way! It is I, Maerad F.!

**SALIMAN: **Who art thou, fair maiden?

**MAERAD: **Who art you? (pause and look him over) Wait. (stare at his face) I know who you are?!

**CADVAN: **(lean in closer and in high, girly voice laugh) I know who you are too!

**MAERAD: **Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! (look evil and glance around at everyone) It is **_SALLY THE MAGICAL UNICORN OF THE LAND OF CHOCOALATE COVERED ROACHES AND IGALOOS!!_**

**HEM: **Does this mean I can eat him/her?


	4. ARKAN AND SHARMA

**SHARMA: **Twinkle twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are.

**ARKAN: **Up above the world so high.

**SHARMA: **Like a diamond in the sky.

**ARKAN: **OOOOOooooohhhhhhhh!!

**SHARMA: **Twinkle twinkle

**ARKAN: **little star...

**ARKAN AND SHARMA: **How we wonder wwwwhhhhhhhaaaaaaaatttttttt yyyyyyyyyyyyooooooouuuuuuuuu aaaaarrrrrrreeeeeee!!

Arkan glances over at Sharma. "Um...Who wrote this?"

Sharma is still humming the tune. "I do not know. Hey, here's another!"

**ARKAN: **Ol' McDonald had a farm.

**SHARMA: **EEEEIIIIIEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOO!!

**ARKAN: **And on that farm he had a...

**SHARMA: **PPPPPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!

**ARKAN: **EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

**SHARMA: **With a...

**ARKAN AND SHARMA: **OINK! OINK!

**ARKAN: **HERE! AND A...

**ARKAN AND SHARMA: **OINK! OINK!

**SHARMA: **THERE! HERE A...

**ARKAN AND SHARMA: **OINK!

**ARKAN: **EVERYWHERE A

**ARKAN AND SHARMA: **OINK! OINK!

**ARKAN AND SHARMA: **OL' MCDONALD HAD A FARM! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!


	5. MAERAD, HEM, AND SALIMAN

Maerad and Saliman walked down a hall to join Hem. The look on Maerad's face was not one of excitement. Saliman's, however, was one of amused joy.

"What's wrong?" demanded Hem whenever the two walked into the room.

"This," said Maerad as she held up another set of scripts.

"Another set?!" Hem looked like he wanted to get sick or run away.

"Shall we?" Saliman asked with a smile of some sort. He handed out the papers.

**MAERAD: **My name is Kaliowanimaianowqzuoiouukndsaoueiwwaaaofna of the okjfjwien lkfjaoijeemoifheiaroiwuihnkjslajfdozzanfjuaeiw!

"What does that even say?!"

"I don't know, just read!"

"Okay..."

**MAERAD: **I am a princess who is the daughter of the...the...(pause dramatically) the FLAMING BLUE LIZARDS!

**HEM: **I am a monkey who is the daughter of a-

"Wait! I am NOT a girl!"

The other two snicker. "READ!"

**HEM: **I am a monkey who is the daughter of a...a...A POLKA DOTTED SHRIMP WITH A CLOWN HAT!

**SALIMAN: **I am a totally awesome kid that watched the movie CAMP ROCk. You know, the movie with Joe Jonas and Demi Lavato...

**MAERAD: **I DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR SILLY LITTLE CAMP ROCK! I WOULD VERY MUCH RATHER TALK ABOUT THE TOTALLY COOLIO CA-

"WHAT!? I am NOT!" Maerad screamed as she read ahead. She threw the script down and stormed off.

Saliman shrugged. "Guess I better go find out what is for dinner."

Hem smiled as the other two left. He grabbed the scripts and began to read.

**MAERAD: **My name is Kaliowanimaianowqzuoiouukndsaoueiwwaaaofna of the okjfjwien lkfjaoijeemoifheiaroiwuihnkjslajfdozzanfjuaeiw!

**MAERAD: **I am a princess who is the daughter of the...the...(pause dramatically) the FLAMING BLUE LIZARDS!

**HEM: **I am a monkey who is the daughter of a-

**HEM: **I am a monkey who is the daughter of a...a...A POLKA DOTTED SHRIMP WITH A CLOWN HAT!

**SALIMAN: **I am a totally awesome kid that watched the movie CAMP ROCk. You know, the movie with Joe Jonas and Demi Lavato...

**MAERAD: **I DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR SILLY LITTLE CAMP ROCK! I WOULD VERY MUCH RATHER TALK ABOUT THE TOTALLY COOLIO CADDERS!

**HEM: **WELL MAYBE THE REST OF US DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR FIRST KISS WITH THE FAT WALRUS!

**MAERAD: **TAKE THAT BACK YOU GECKO!

**HEM: **NEVER YE SCREAMY BRAT!

**MAERAD: **WHY I OUTTA!

**SALIMAN: **OMG! LADY! DUDE! THERE THEY ARE!

**-END-**

_(yOU KNOW WHAT BELONGS TO ALISON CROGGON AND WHAT DOESN'T.)_


End file.
